Ladies, never ever fight over a man. Fight over a job, parking space, your spot in a long line….the last chicken wing. But never over a man. Never.
"when women wear makeup they’re basically lying to us" well i don’t see why i’m being blamed for a man stupid enough to really think i have red and gold eyelids
And I would have gotten away with it too if it weren’t for you meddling kids and your talking dog
Having a best friend from the opposite gender is the best thing ever, seriously.
update: until they fall in love with you and screw your friendship up.
My home phone is ringing. I did not know I had a home phone. Interesting development.
last night i dreamed that scientists used a really bad picture of me to prove humans are closely related to goats and i was so insulted i woke up
Americans pronouncing it ‘Noo-tella’ as if it were made from fucking hazelnoots.
Beck was a real friend
BRINGING THIS BACK DON’T HATE ME!!
i will never not reblog this.
"please don’t put that on camera" ..mhm
this is my fave
dont ever let this die
can’t wait till I’m relevant enough to receive cute random messages and anons